This Verse SHOCKED the Apostles — Matthew 19 Explained
This Verse SHOCKED the Apostles — Matthew 19 Explained
The television studio in downtown Chicago was freezing. The air conditioning was cranked high to offset the heat of the massive production lights, casting a cold, crisp atmosphere over the set. Sitting in a leather armchair, Al tightened his tie and glanced across the low glass table at Sam. Between them sat two high-end studio microphones and a high-definition camera tracking their every movement for the live stream.
Sam was a seasoned apologist, a man whose hair was graying at the temples but whose eyes still carried the sharp, unyielding intensity of a street preacher. He had spent the last two decades traveling the globe, debating skeptics, academics, and religious counter-claimants. Today, however, the mood was different. They weren’t fighting off an aggressive critic; instead, they were taking live questions from viewers who were genuinely trying to understand the harder, often overlooked corners of scripture.
A soft chime echoed in the control room, and the producer nodded through the glass partition. Al adjusted his earpiece, leaning forward as the digital clock on the monitor hit the hour.
“Alright, playground, what’s up?” Al said, flashing a warm smile at the camera. “Hello, out there. How you guys doing? We are live. And joining me as always is our brother Sam. How are you doing today, man?”
Sam let out a low, hearty laugh, adjusting his posture in the heavy chair. “I’m okay, Al. You see, I’m manifesting today. They’re bringing the old Sam out. I’m ready for whatever the people have for us.”
Al grinned, looking down at the incoming call queue on his tablet. “Well, let’s jump straight in. We have a caller on the line who wants to dive into something a bit unconventional. Go ahead, sister, you’re on the air with us.”
A hesitant, slightly nervous female voice came through the studio speakers. “Hi, Al. Hi, Sam. Um… so I have a question, and I know everyone in the chat is probably going to judge me, laugh, and all of that. It’s not very… well, it’s a bit unusual.”
“Don’t worry about it at all,” Al said reassuringly, waving his hand. “No judgment here. What’s on your mind?”
“It’s… maybe even you will laugh actually if you hear it,” she continued, her voice small. “But it’s about Matthew chapter 19, verse 12. I just wanted some clarity on it. Most people online really only talk about the major, loud topics like divorce or feeding the five thousand. This specific verse is not really touched on. I just think every part of the Bible is important, so I wanted to ask…”
Before she could finish, Sam leaned forward, his face turning incredibly serious, though his eyes remained warm. “Hold on a second, sister. Are you kidding me? You think divorce and marriage aren’t important topics to look at deeply?”
“Wow,” the caller whispered, letting out a breath. “You’re so nice. I was honestly scared to ask. I’m sorry.”
“Are you kidding me?” Sam repeated, his voice filling the room with a sudden, commanding resonance. “Look, let’s clear something up right now. The Bible is not a book to be used merely to argue and debate. See, you just did something which hits the nail right on the head. The Bible is a revelation of what God wants from us, how to live, and how to conduct ourselves. Because of that, it covers every single sphere of human life. And one of the most important aspects that is nearest and dearest to God’s heart is marriage.”
Sam gestured toward the screen displaying the live chat, where comments were beginning to scroll by at a blistering pace. “The problem you find online nowadays is that people have this mentality of the UFC. It’s all about fighting, destroying, and demolishing the other side. I call them spiritual UFC blood fests. That’s why if you host a challenge or a fiery topic like ‘Come and prove the Trinity wrong,’ you’re going to get thousands of viewers. For a channel like mine, you’ll easily get over a thousand, and for guys who do it regularly, like our brother Avery or Christian Prince, you’ll see two, three, or four thousand people jumping in just to see a fight.”
He shook his head, looking directly into the camera lens. “But the Bible was not given to us to use to bash people over the head. It is God’s revelation telling you what He expects from you and how to conduct yourself in every area of life. And yes, marriage is right at the top of that list. So, I’ve addressed this millions of times over the years. No, this is not a stupid question. But sadly, because people are used to going to channels where it’s entirely about debate, they forget that over ninety percent of my sessions are not about debating. It’s about topics. It’s about real life issues. It’s about deep, careful exegesis.”
Sam paused, taking a breath, his expression softening into profound humility. “That’s why I don’t care for numbers, Al. If I only get two hundred people watching, I don’t care. May God give me pure motives and a pure heart to be content with that. I want to learn the Bible, I want to know the Bible, and most importantly, I want to live it. And look, may God forgive me because I am a hypocrite. May He have mercy on me. So, please, sister, understand this is incredibly important. Now, tell me, what specifically do you want to know about this topic?”
“Thank you, Sam,” the caller said, her confidence visibly returning. “So, specifically with verse 12, I was just a little bit confused about what Jesus actually meant when He was saying that. Many people have given me completely different interpretations, but really, you’re the only one I trust to be straightforward and clear about these things.”
Sam nodded, reaching for the heavy study Bible resting on the table. “Alright, let’s unpack it properly. To understand verse 12, we have to look at the entire setup. When Jesus stated how dangerous it is to divorce a woman unlawfully, it completely shocked the disciples. It prompted a massive reaction from them. Let’s read from Matthew 19 so we can find it in its proper context. This historical background is why you see their absolute shock. They literally went, ‘If it’s like this, then it’s better not to even be married!’ Let’s read the text to see why they were so terrified by what Jesus said about marriage.”
Sam flipped the thin, gilded pages of his Bible, finding the chapter.
“Matthew 19, beginning at verse 1,” Sam read, his voice steady and rhythmic. “‘And it happened that when Jesus had finished these statements, he went away from Galilee and came into the region of Judea on the other side of the Jordan and large crowds followed him. He healed them there and Pharisees came up to him in order to test him and asked if it was permitted for a man to divorce his wife for any cause.’“
Sam looked up from the page, pointing a finger for emphasis. “Now, if you don’t know the historical background here, you are going to misread the entire conversation. This is why I tell people all the time: get yourself a good study Bible that gives you the historical and cultural background, like the Ignatius Study Bible or the Ignatius Catholic Study Bible. At the time of our Lord, there were two main Pharisaic schools of theological thought dominating Jewish life: the School of Shammai and the School of Hillel.”
He leaned in closer to the microphone. “Hillel and Shammai were considered two of the greatest rabbis who ever lived. I need everyone listening to understand this. Shammai and Hillel disputed fiercely, and their respective followers disputed constantly, on when exactly it was lawful to divorce your wife. Why? Because if you go back to the Old Testament law, specifically Deuteronomy chapter 24, verses 1 through 4, Moses doesn’t actually give the explicit reason for when a person can validly be divorced. He doesn’t mention a clear list of grounds. Sister, were you aware of that?”
“No, I didn’t know that actually,” the caller admitted.
“Yeah, let me show it to you guys,” Sam said, looking out to the broader audience. “Are you aware of this, Christians? In the Old Testament, Moses does not give a systematic breakdown of what qualifies as a valid divorce. He just says that when you divorce her, it’s because you found something ‘unpleasant’ or ‘indecent’ in her, but he doesn’t define what that indecent thing is.”
Sam turned back a few pages, scanning for the passage in Deuteronomy. “Listen to the exact wording of Deuteronomy 24: ‘If a man takes a wife and marries her, and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out from his house…’ Notice very carefully: he does not explain what qualifies as something indecent. He is simply describing a scenario: if this happens, if a man divorces his wife because of something he disliked or found indecent, he writes her a certificate.”
He continued reading from the law of Moses: “‘And after she leaves his house, she becomes the wife of another man and her second husband dislikes her and writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, or if he dies, then her first husband who divorced her is not allowed to marry her again after she has been defiled. That would be a detestable abomination in the eyes of Yahweh. Do not bring sin upon the land the Lord your God is giving you as an inheritance.’“
Sam shut the Old Testament section with a light thud. “Now notice the context. Deuteronomy 24 isn’t even a commandment establishing how to get a valid divorce. It’s actually a law regulating what happens after a divorce has already occurred. It’s saying if a man divorces a woman because he found an indecency, and she marries someone else, and that second marriage ends, the first husband cannot take her back. Because of the total lack of clarity on what the word ‘indecency’ meant, you had these two rival rabbinic schools try to narrow down the definition.”
He looked at Al, who was following along intently. “Shammai and his conservative followers argued that ‘indecency’ strictly meant unfaithfulness—physical infidelity. They said that was the only valid legal ground to divorce your wife. But do you know what Hillel said?”
“What did he say?” the caller asked over the line.
“Hillel was super liberal,” Sam explained, a look of incredulity on his face. “He said that if anything a woman does displeases you, you can divorce her. If she accidentally burns your dinner, you can divorce her. If she walks outside and lets her hair down in public, you can divorce her. If you simply find a woman who looks prettier than her, you can divorce her. It was entirely open-ended. Honestly, it sounds a lot like Islamic divorce laws today.”
“Exactly,” Al muttered, nodding in agreement.
“So, the Pharisees come to Jesus as a rabbi, and they ask Him, ‘What’s your position, Jesus?'” Sam said, his voice rising with theatrical tension. “Shammai says it’s only for infidelity. Hillel says it’s for any reason at all. They aren’t asking Jesus because they want to learn from Him. They are setting a trap. If He goes against Hillel, who was incredibly popular with the masses because his views were so easy and liberal, they can turn the people against Him. If He goes against Shammai, they can claim He doesn’t respect the holiness of the law. They were completely obsessed with trapping Him and exposing Him as a false teacher.”
“I know this,” the caller said. “They did it multiple times throughout the Gospels.”
“Amen!” Sam said. “They did. But watch how brilliant Jesus is. He teaches us exactly how to do apologetics—and who to answer versus who to completely bypass. He doesn’t just offer an arbitrary opinion. He takes them right back to the text they claim to believe. He says, ‘Hold on, let me show you what the Old Testament actually says.’ Because the same Moses who wrote Deuteronomy 24 also wrote the book of Genesis. He says to them, ‘Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh”?’ He quotes Genesis 1:27 and Genesis 2:24 right to their faces.”
Sam leaned back, a triumphant smile on his lips. “He completely stumps them by quoting Moses. He shows them that according to the design of creation, they are no longer two, but one flesh. And then He drops the ultimate standard: ‘What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.’ He went a step further than even the strictest school of Shammai. He told them, ‘God brought them together. Who do you think you are to tear them apart?'”
Al tapped his script, pointing to the next verse. “But that’s where the Pharisees get completely perplexed, right? Because they immediately fire back with a counter-argument.”
“Yes!” Sam agreed enthusiastically. “Put yourself in their shoes. They’re thinking, ‘Wait a minute. If that’s the case, the same Moses who wrote Genesis is the one who allowed for divorce certificates in Deuteronomy. Is that a contradiction?’ It sounds like a total contradiction on the surface. So they ask Him directly in verse 7: ‘Why then did Moses command to give her a certificate of divorce and send her away?’ They’re asking, ‘If God never wanted divorce to happen, why did Moses allow it without condemning the people?'”
Sam’s eyes locked back onto the camera lens. “And here is where Jesus completely deconstructs their worldview. He tells them, ‘Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it has not been this way.’ He stumps them completely. He is saying, ‘Because you are so wicked, hard-hearted, and unable to meet God’s highest moral standard, Moses tolerated and regulated a practice you were already doing.’ If you pay close attention to the language of the Old Testament, Moses never commands a man to divorce his wife. He simply says if a man happens to do it. Moses was managing human damage, not endorsing it. God had to make a concession because of human wickedness.”
“Wow,” the caller breathed. “The light switch just went on for me.”
“Exactly,” Sam said, his tone warm. “And the absolute proof that God didn’t want divorce from the beginning is that Jesus bypasses the fallen laws of Deuteronomy and goes straight back to the flawless paradise of Genesis, before sin entered the world. And then He delivers the blow that sets up your question, sister. He says in verse 9, ‘And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.’ So, Jesus actually agrees with the School of Shammai here. You cannot divorce your wife for any and every reason. The only legitimate ground is infidelity.”
Sam paused, letting the weight of the statement sit in the room. “Now, look at how the disciples react to this. They are absolutely terrified. They go, ‘Wait, wait, wait. If the standard is that high and that strict, it’s better to just never get married!’ Think about it. I don’t have a guarantee that if I marry someone, we are always going to get along perfectly. What if it gets incredibly difficult? What if we bail out? I understand their fear deeply.”
Sam’s voice dropped into a quieter, incredibly personal register. “Look, I don’t want to throw myself a pity party here on the air, but I lived in an abusive relationship for ten years. I was verbally abused, and I was physically hit. Ironically, she was the one who ultimately left and committed adultery, which legally and scripturally set me free. But I didn’t leave during those ten years because of my daughters. I was fully prepared to stay and endure it. So, believe me when I say I understand the raw fear of the apostles. I learned the hard way that marriage is not a joke. When people look at a bad situation and realize they can’t just walk away whenever they want, they naturally say, ‘You know what? If that’s the case, I’m just not going to get married at all.'”
“And that brings us exactly to verse 11 and 12,” Al noted, steering the conversation back to the caller’s specific text.
“Yes,” Sam said, looking back down at his open Bible. “Look at how Jesus responds to their fear. He says to them, ‘Not all men can accept this statement, but only those to whom it has been given.’ The Apostle Paul later expounds on this heavily in his letters. Jesus is acknowledging that, yes, there are times and callings where it is genuinely better not to get married. However, that capacity has to be a supernatural gift from God. God will give certain people the specific grace to not desire marriage or physical intimacy. And then Jesus breaks it down into three distinct categories of eunuchs.”
Sam held up a finger. “First, He says there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother’s womb. This means there are men who are born naturally impotent, completely outside of their own control. An essential, healthy, and scripturally mandated part of marriage is physical intimacy and satisfying your spouse. Therefore, because these individuals are physically unable to fulfill that marital duty, they are naturally disqualified from getting married.”
He held up a second finger. “Second, He says there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men. In the ancient world, this was incredibly common. When a conquering king or a group of slave traders would attack a territory and take captives, they would select certain men to become servants inside the royal palace. But to ensure absolutely that these servants would never sleep with the king’s wives or his concubines, they would have them forcefully, physically castrated against their choice.”
The caller chimed in, her voice sounding thoughtful. “Can I ask you a question about that second category, Sam? In our modern world, does that line apply to things like big corporations giving hormone pills or blockers to men, or vice versa for women, which essentially castrates them chemically?”
“Yes, absolutely,” Sam answered without hesitation. “Anyone who takes artificial or chemical means that cause them to be sterile, altering their biology so they are incapable of performing their conjugal duties—that fits perfectly into what Christ is talking about here regarding men making others into eunuchs.”
He cleared his throat, moving to the core of her question. “But then Jesus introduces the third, most profound category. He says there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Now, let’s be completely clear: He is not saying that Christian men should physically castrate or mutilate themselves. We know this because the first category refers to people born physically unable, and the second refers to physical alteration by others. This third category refers to men who possess their full physical parts, but who choose to live as if they were eunuchs. They willingly choose lifelong celibacy.”
Sam leaned forward, his voice filled with passion. “They choose not to marry and not to have children so that they can devote one hundred percent of their time, energy, and focus to the work of God. It allows them to travel all over the world preaching the gospel, because let’s face it—it is infinitely easier to move into dangerous, demanding missionary fields when you are single than when you have a wife and children at home depending on you. And then Jesus concludes the thought by saying, ‘He who is able to accept this, let him accept it.’“
Al nodded slowly, absorbing the breakdown. “So it really comes down to a specific, supernatural calling.”
“Exactly,” Sam said. “When He says not everyone can accept it, He’s saying that there are people whom God will uniquely move by the Holy Spirit, and they will know exactly who they are. They will realize, ‘Marriage is not my calling. I am called to devote myself entirely to ministry.’ The Apostle Paul is the ultimate prime example of this third category. Paul never got married, and he actively refused to do so because of his mission. He writes about this extensively in First Corinthians chapter 7, verses 1 through 9. Let’s look at it to see how it perfectly mirrors Jesus’ words.”
Sam turned to the New Testament epistles, finding the passage quickly. “Paul writes: ‘Now concerning the things about which you wrote, it is good for a man not to touch a woman.’ What does he mean by ‘not to touch a woman’? He means refraining from marriage, because according to God’s law, the only legitimate environment for sexual intimacy is within a marriage covenant. If you want to have sex, you must get married. So Paul is saying if you can refrain from that desire entirely, it’s good not to get married.”
He continued reading: “‘But because of sexual immoralities, each man is to have his own wife, and each woman is to have her own husband.’ Paul is being incredibly practical here, guys. He’s saying if you are burning with passion and you absolutely cannot control your desires, that is a clear, definitive sign that you do not possess the spiritual gift of celibacy. If that’s you, don’t try to force it. Go out, find a godly spouse, and get married. Notice also the strict monogamy outlined here: each man has one wife, and each woman has one husband.”
Sam tapped the page firmly. “And look at verse 3: ‘The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband.’ This brings us back to what I said earlier about physical capability. An essential, necessary aspect of a biblical marriage is that you must satisfy your partner. If you cannot do that, it can literally disqualify you from entering marriage. In fact, Al, I’ve been told that in the canon law of the Catholic Church, if they discover a man is permanently impotent and entirely incapable of satisfying his wife through the conjugal act, they will actually forbid the marriage from taking place. Now, I don’t know the exact ins and outs of that, so any Catholics watching the stream right now, please let me know if that is entirely accurate, but that’s what a priest explained to me once. It highlights just how seriously scripture treats the physical aspect of the marriage bed.”
“It really highlights the mutual ownership of the relationship,” Al remarked.
“Yes! Look at verse 4,” Sam shouted, his voice echoing off the studio walls. “‘The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband has; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife has.’ Do you see how incredibly radical and fair this is? Your spouse literally owns your body when it comes to intimacy. It is completely reciprocal. You will never find anything even remotely close to this level of mutual equality in the Quran or Islamic jurisprudence. In Islam, a man can have multiple wives and concubines, but here, she has one husband, you have one wife, and her authority over your body is identical to your authority over hers. You cannot use your body as a weapon to punish or withhold from your spouse. If they desire intimacy, you are commanded to give it to them.”
He leaned closer to the microphone, his expression turning deeply pastoral. “But where does the cellibacy part tie back in? Paul writes in verse 5: ‘Stop depriving one another except by agreement for a time so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.’ Think about how this applies practically. Let’s say you’re a married woman, and you tell your husband, ‘Sweetie, I want to refrain from intimacy for the next week so I can focus on a spiritual fast.’ If your husband looks at you and says, ‘Honey, I really love and support you, but I’m struggling with temptation right now and I desire you,’ you cannot just unilaterally walk away and deny him. It must be by mutual, total consent.”
Sam shook his head. “And even when you do agree to a temporary period of celibacy for prayer, Paul says it must not be for a long time. Why? Because the longer you artificially refrain from that natural outlet within marriage, the greater the pressure of lust builds up, and the higher the likelihood that Satan will step in and tempt you into falling into grievous sexual sin outside the marriage. You have to honor each other’s rights.”
He flipped back to the conclusion of Paul’s thought. “Paul says in verse 6, ‘But this I say as a concession, not as a command.’ He’s clarifying that he isn’t commanding everyone to be single or commanding everyone to be married. He is laying out a wise suggestion. You have two beautiful choices before you: you can get married, or you can remain celibate. While he notes that being celibacy allows for an undivided devotion to God that makes it spiritually advantageous, getting married is absolutely not evil or a lesser sin. He says, ‘I wish that all men were even as I myself am. However, each man has his own gift from God, one in this manner, and another in that.’“
Sam closed his Bible, looking directly into the camera with a profound sense of peace. “This is exactly what Jesus meant in Matthew 19. If you can receive the calling to be celibate for the kingdom, and your heart is completely at peace with it, then go ahead and walk that path. But understand that not everyone can receive it, because not everyone has been graced with that specific gift. Paul finishes by saying to the unmarried and the widows that it is good to stay single like him, but if they cannot control themselves, they should absolutely marry. Because it is infinitely better to marry than to burn with unfulfilled passion and fall into destruction.”
He turned his gaze back toward the console where the caller was still connected. “So, sister, that is the complete, unfiltered meaning behind Jesus’ words about the eunuchs. It’s a high calling for a specific few, while marriage remains a beautiful, protected boundary for the rest.”
A long pause hung over the line before the caller spoke, her voice thick with gratitude. “Wow… thank you so much, Sam. That makes perfect sense now. You completely cleared up all the confusion.”
“You’re so welcome, sister,” Sam smiled warmly. “May God bless you deeply for wanting to know His word.”
